It is with mixed and conflicting emotions I would like to tell you about my newest book. It is very different than my first, and a book that for the longest time I told myself I would not ask people to read or promote in any way. It is a very deeply, personal story about my spiritual journey and the path I felt called to travel down in seeking a closer, more intimate relationship with God and His son.
Along my journey, books and people were brought into my life to serve as guides and lifelines. As books served a purpose for me, I felt this book could serve a purpose for others. Though I initially did not intend to promote the book, I made a decision to announce its release seeking no gains or self-centered motives. What I hope is that by sharing my story and all I have learned, it may help others on their own spiritual journey, and perhaps help provide answers to questions that many have and struggle with.
It was at the suggestion of my spiritual director to put the words of my story down on paper, and though I resisted initially, I realized God was calling me to share my experience. The book is not an easy read and was written with intention. I would like to believe everyone could gain some insight and understanding on a spiritual level from reading it.
For a long time I felt like 'some thing' was missing from my life. I have always been religious, believed myself a "good Catholic" and loved God, though admit I never knew Jesus. I always believed a relationship with Him in this life was unattainable. What I came to realize was that the 'some thing' missing could only be found in and with God.
I felt I was being called and drawn to love and know Him in a way I never knew was possible. One big problem however ,the more I sought Him, the more distant He seemed to become.
It was a very dark, challenging time in my life. I found myself questioning my faith and beliefs, as well as my worth in His eyes. It brought much heartache and pain thinking and believing this God I sought and loved so much did not want anything to do with me. Emotions and memories I tried to bury long ago were brought to the surface. I was forced to face and process through it all on my way to becoming who God created me to be.
It is a book about never giving up on God no matter what happens or what He brings into your life. It is a book about understanding the purpose of suffering. A book about holding steadfast to your faith and belief in Him regardless of feelings, emotions, thoughts, or circumstances that make you want to turn away from His light and find comfort in the complacency of darkness. It is a book that says it's okay to question, doubt, and even get mad at God, but it is also a book, and my testament, to how crucial it is to hang onto hope, (no matter how small it may seem), and to the belief that God never stops loving you, and never leaves you, (even when it seems as though He has). I now know with confidence that He has a plan for my life, as He does for yours.
I have come to know Jesus in a way I never knew was possible on this earth, in this life. I now have peace in my soul knowing all is His will.
We may never understand why He allows some things to happen. I struggled with this for a long time. I learned "we cannot understand that which transcends us". His ways are not ours...all we can do is to trust, often blindly.
If you are seeking a deeper spiritual life or a more meaningful relationship with God and Jesus, this book may offer the insight you have been looking for. Thank you for reading this post. I welcome any feedback or questions. May God Bless and be with you always.